Trench of the Month:
Men's Double-Breasted Van Heusen

by Gone With A Bang Not A Whimper

Okay so the trench of the month for April is the Men's Double-
Breasted Van Heusen- truly the best in its class, if faggot 
businessman trenches are your thing.  Eat hot lead, phony.

So I was playing DOOM the other day and got stuck on a 
particularly tricky level.  I seem to have lost the intricate
map of the level I made, but I at least caught a glimpse of
the hell beast from hell that was making my life, well, hell.

I realized that the easiest way for me to beat this creature
would be for me to implant knife-launchers inside my wrists.
Otherwise, I'd inevitably run out of ammo and be stuck with
trying to carve through the thing with the shitty lame-ass
chainsaw that you can sometimes find- which is pretty much
the only unrealistic part of the game because I played with
my cousin's chainsaw all the time when I was a kid and it
rocked hard core.

But other than that, as far as I can tell, the game is totally 
realistic in its obscure portrayal of the consequences of violence.

Also, I might add, it was the best birthday present I ever
got from my dad- he must really love me.

Trenchcoat.