"My First Trench"

a work of fiction by J.


I need real food.

So, yeah, uhm, I'm kind of tired today because I'm on a new diet.
It's kinda based on the beliefs of Ghandi. That you should STARVE
YOURSELF. 

Because I guess I have like this fungus thing. You know?  It's all 
like in me n stuff.  So I went to this doctor and he said "Ok, you 
have a fungus, I'm gunna push on yer arm to see how much fungus".  
And I said, "Shit. Arm fungus."  And he was all laughin n shit and 
he said like "No, it's a systemic fungus, NO SUCH LUCK!"

So now I take his little juice.  And he pumps the shit in my mouth.
And I take his drops.  So I can kill the fungus.  And I can't eat
meat anymore- so I've decided to live in shit.  And let cows into
my apartment.  And I've decided to worship them.

So then I moved to Colorado.  

Oh, also, I plan on buying my first trench coat as soon as I have saved
enough money- which should be quite soon, as meat was pretty expensive.